We are not true saints and holy men, despite our hardest efforts, we could behave in hurtful ways towards others around us occasionally. We may do this unintentionally and this is a rather understandable behaviour for normal people. We are confronted with the dynamics of the situation and it can be difficult to respond appropriately, especially if we don’t have enough time to reconsider our thoughts and behaviours. However, with proper modifications, it should easy to reduce such effects.
In general, people who have more empathy towards others could better treat people and be more responsible. They are less likely to do hurtful things. They are also more understanding and can provide forgiveness.
Unfortunately, there are people who are chronically hurtful towards others throughout their lives. They can be harsh and appear to be rather inconsiderate towards others. We may argue that they are just tired or too sensitive, but despite their conditions they can be inherently harsh and hurtful towards others. Indentifying people with this condition may not always be easy.
It isn’t always easy to identify people with this characteristic. They may be expert at harassing and fooling people. It is important to review our communication with such people and review them as objectively and scientifically as possible. Here are three ways to identify people who chronically hurt others:
- They don’t change easily. People who chronically hurt others may not change easily and in some cases, they refuse to change themselves. They could blame, attack, manipulate and lie easily. They don’t have plan to apologize and make amends.
- What they say don’t congruent with what they do.
- They always blame others when thing go wrong.
When we realize that we are dealing with people who chronically hurt others, it is important to do the right steps. We should pay attention to our experience. Many people who chronically hurt others tend to be rather manipulative. They seek to confuse, distress others and make others imbalanced.
It is also important to review our responses and experience. We need to pay attention to our emotions and figure things out how to deal with them. Once we learn to understand ourselves, we could address these people directly or indirectly. We could consider whether everything that these people say about us is true.
If they blame us, we should know whether their accusations are true or not. In this case, we should always be responsible and credible individuals to prevent others from blaming us. In fact, entirely credible people don’t need to prove themselves to others. Whatever we do, we should trust ourselves.
People who chronically hurt others want to keep us in distress. In their minds, we could be considered more vulnerable in any conflict and disagreement. If we do need to react to a provocative individual, we should always restrain ourselves and our actions should intended to prevent further escalation. After making some clarifications, we may need to remove ourselves from the location.
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